1. Looking at the Past: The Gift of Honest Reckoning

Our retreat leader Gareth Higgins shared activist Joanna Macy’s spiral framework for processing grief constructively: Coming from Gratitude, Honoring Our Pain for the World, Seeing with New Eyes, and Going Forth to act with hope and resilience. Rather than rushing past difficult histories, she advocated leaning into grief as a pathway to transformation.

For congregations: Too often, churches avoid difficult conversations about their past—failed initiatives, painful conflicts, demographic changes. What if we created sacred space to grieve what’s been lost while discovering the love that still remains? Sometimes the path forward requires going through the hard stories, not around them.

2. Dealing with Disruption and Conflict: Small Moves Matter

Facilitator Paul Hutchinson, former Centre Director of Corrymeela, Northern Ireland’s oldest community of peace and reconciliation, challenged our assumptions about reconciliation. He says that sometimes, reconciliation is not embodied by a dramatic handshake—sometimes it’s “a slight move towards the other.” Do we have eyes to see those small gestures? He also offered a profound insight about forgiveness: “Don’t forgive too soon.” Forgiveness is a process with chapters, like stages of grief.

At Clonard Monastery, we met Leslie, a Protestant minister who participated in secret peace talks during the Troubles. Her willingness to stay at the table despite enormous personal cost made reconciliation possible.

For congregations: When conflict emerges, Hutchinson asked us to consider: “What’s the nature and quality of the relationship? Are we rushing toward false reconciliation, or are we patient enough to do the deeper and more costly work of transformation?”

3. Celtic Spirituality: Rhythm Over Rush

On the third day of the retreat, June Mitchell, one of the retreat staff, presented on Celtic spirituality, highlighting themes like creation care, hospitality, rhythm of living, and pilgrimage. Celtic spirituality wasn’t heavy on theology but rich in practices that honored the sacred in everyday life.

The directional Celtic prayer June led us on an ancient mound was particularly moving—acknowledging our place in the larger web of creation rather than rushing into our days with anxiety.

For congregations: What if churches prioritized rhythm over productivity? What if we measured success not by programs offered, but by how well we help people connect with the sacred in ordinary moments?

4. Stories That Transform: The Power of Shared Narrative

Throughout the retreat, we learned that stories carried deep meaning, and what we tell and how we tell stories – to others and to ourselves, matter. Brian Ammons, another retreat leader, invited us to consider how our attachment to a single story contributes to our conflictual relationships with others and with ourselves. What would it look like for us to reframe our stories and include other stories to weave a shared narrative?

For congregations: Every church has multiple stories running simultaneously. What stories are shaping your community’s identity? Sometimes the most powerful pastoral work is simply helping people tell their stories and feel heard.

5. What I’m Taking Away: Time Is for Love

“If God is love, and God made time, then time is for love.” Paul Hutchinson’s statement continues to marinate in my soul and my work as it challenges everything about how I typically approach ministry. Too often, we get our affirmation from doing, not being. But what if our primary calling isn’t to fill time with activities, but to create spacious, gracious time for love to emerge?

For congregations: This might be the most countercultural message churches could offer our rushed world. What would it look like to structure congregational life around this “Time is for Love” principle?

Moving Forward: The Learner’s Plate

In Ireland, student drivers must display plates with red a “L” at the front and rear of their vehicle to indicate that they are learning to drive. Ed, a Catholic peacemaker at Clonard Monastery, offered an image that has stayed with me: we should all consider ourselves wearing a “learner’s plate”—we’re all learning how to be human.

The peace process in Northern Ireland reminds us that transformation is possible, even after decades of conflict. But it requires what our guides called “a slight move towards the other”—and the eyes to see when that movement is happening.

What slight moves might your congregation be ready to make?

Schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Call.

With hope and solidarity,

Michael K. Cheuk
Coach | Consultant | Companion
www.michaelkcheuk.com

Ken’s question inspired me to think of how I would answer.

Here are ten ways that I encourage my coaching clients.

1. Encourage by believing in the client.

Before we focus on the client, we must first be clear about our own mindset and beliefs about our client. If you don’t believe that your client has the ability and the resources to achieve her goals, you will not be able to encourage (literally, “to put courage into”) her.

Belief in the client undergirds one of International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) core competencies: co-creating the coaching relationship. We encourage clients by establishing a safe and supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust.

2. Encourage by paying full attention to the client.

We encourage clients by paying our full attention to them. 

One way to do that is by active listening. The ICF defines active listening as “the ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression.” 

Nothing encourages a client more than the experience of being heard and understood.

I currently have a client who just wants me to listen and give feedback on some ideas and concerns that he’s been wrestling with for a long time. He hasn’t been able to find someone who would do that with him without judging. He is encouraged that he now has a thinking partner.

3. Encourage by helping clients reach their goals.

Being heard and understood can be greatly encouraging during a coaching conversation. 

However, clients experience sustained encouragement when they reach their goals. People don’t buy coaching, they buy results. When clients achieve their desired results, they are encouraged!

4. Encourage by reframing “failures” into opportunities for learning.

Sometimes our clients fall short of their goals. In these cases, we can encourage our clients by exploring with them ways that they can shift their viewpoint in order to find new meaning, new awareness, and/or new possibilities for action.

Maneet Chauhan once wrote: “There are no failures in life: only learning opportunities.” This wise maxim has encouraged me whenever I fail to reach one of my goals. Instead of being stuck with negative thoughts about myself, I’m invited to shift my mindset to become curious about how I might learn from the experience in order to achieve success later on.

5. Encourage by exploring opportunities hidden within challenges.

Another way to encourage clients is to help them see opportunities hidden within challenges and obstacles. Sometimes, when clients are stuck trying to get through an obstacle, the mere exploration of ways “around,” “under” or “over” that obstacle can be a heartening exercise. 

Other times, an obstacle along a path can stimulate an exploration of totally different paths and possibilities that are more life-giving and fulfilling for the client.

6. Encourage by identifying courageous actions.

Many times, merely naming the courageous actions that the client has taken or is choosing to take is encouragement. Anyone who invests in coaching is already courageous because it requires a willingness to change and grow. Helping your clients to see themselves as courageous can empower them to follow through on their action plans and achieve their goals.

A client of mine is in a conflictual environment at work. She’s wired in such a way that tempts her to hide rather than to show up fully in her work. In the midst of our coaching conversation, it was evident that she was showing up fully, despite feelings of anxiety and a racing heart rate. I commented to her: “May I suggest that your anxiety and heart rate are ways that your body is reminding you that you are being courageous?” After a moment of silence, she responded, “Yes! I AM courageous!”

7. Encourage by celebrating victories.

Identifying and celebrating wins are sure ways to encourage and invigorate our clients. I’ve found that many clients tend to focus on problems, obstacles, and failures. Naming victories and identifying accomplished goals can have a powerful impact to cheer and uplift a client.

In a later conversation with my client in the conflictual environment, she was able to report and celebrate the increasing number of times that she was able to stand up for herself. Each time, you can hear the joy and pride in her voice.

8. Encourage by helping clients to identify and recruit cheerleaders.

Another way to encourage clients is to help them find others who can cheer them on and provide positive accountability. Helping a client find a supportive community is an effective way to support the client’s progress.

9. Encourage by reminding how far the client has progressed.

One of the joys of being in a long-term coaching relationship is seeing the progress a client has made in his goals. In those relationships, whenever a client feels a bit down about a current challenge, I often remind him how far he has progressed since the beginning of our work together. The ability to step back and consider the coaching journey with the “long view” allows the client to see the current challenge in its proper perspective.

10. Encourage by sharing what you’ve learned from the client.

At the end of the call, I sometimes thank the client for the insights or lessons I gained during the call. I find this to be encouraging to many clients because it underscores the fact that mutual partnership is at the heart of coaching. The client is the expert on his or her life, and the coach can learn a lot from the client’s expertise and insights.

So these are ten ways I encourage my coaching clients.

But wait! There’s more!

These ten ways are also effective and applicable to other relationships. Just substitute the word “client(s)” with “child,” “fellow worker,” or “spouse.”

I’ve used all these ten ways to encourage my wife, my children, my friends, and my colleagues. And they work!

What has been your experience?

What would you add to this list?

If this article has been useful to you, please consider signing up for my periodic e-newsletter.

Let me start with a confession: I used to think strategic planning was a cold, corporate process—something reserved for Fortune 500 boardrooms, not sanctuaries. I saw the color-coded charts, the mission statements buried in binders, the timelines that never got followed. And I thought: There must be a better way.

If you’ve ever felt the same—like the plans you labored over with your church council ended up collecting more dust than discipleship—then this letter is for you.

I want to offer something different. Not a formula, but a framework. Not a prescription, but a conversation starter. And certainly not another burdensome task on your pastoral plate—but a tool that helps clear that plate, so you can feed your people more fully.

It’s what I call a “Calling Forward Spiritual Planning,” and I built it with you in mind.

Why “Calling Forward”?

Because churches are not factories. You are not a CEO in a collar. And the Spirit doesn’t move by spreadsheets alone.

Calling Forward spiritual planning takes into account the soul of a congregation—its identity, people, history, strengths, wounds, stewardship, partnerships, and calling. It honors mystery while inviting clarity. It names grief and invites growth.

And like the Gospel itself, it’s not just for knowing—it’s for living.

Introducing the Sailboat: A Metaphor for Ministry Planning

Picture your church as a sailboat. It’s a metaphor I’ve adapted and loved because it’s dynamic, visual, and intuitive. A healthy church—like a well-built sailboat—needs more than a sturdy hull and a direction. It needs the wind, the right crew, clear communication, and the ability to pivot when storms hit.

Here are the eight essential elements that make up a holistic strategic plan—each one vital to moving your ministry forward with integrity and joy.

1. Identity (Below the Waterline)

The Keel of Your Church’s Soul

This is who you are—often unseen, but foundational. Without clarity here, no vision can stay afloat.

• Who are we, distinct from other congregations?
• What values anchor us—even as we move into uncharted waters?
• What part of our past identity needs to be grieved or reimagined?

Action Step: Host a “Legacy & Identity” night. Invite stories from long-time members and new voices alike. Name what’s worth carrying forward—and what needs release.

2. Calling (The Hull that Moves You Forward)

Your Why—Compelling, Clear, and Christ-Centered

Why do you exist beyond Sunday services?

• Who would mourn if your church ceased to exist?
• What needs are you uniquely positioned to meet in your community?
• What makes your congregation come alive?

Action Step: Rewrite your mission statement in plain language a 12-year-old could understand. Test it in a sermon. Watch the reaction.

3. Direction (The Rudder Steering the Way)

You Can’t Drift Toward Discipleship

Many churches don’t fail because they lacked vision—they failed because they had too many.

• Where are you headed in the next 1, 3, or 5 years?
• What’s helping—or hindering—that journey?
• What must you jettison to lighten the load?

Action Step: Try a “Stop / Start / Continue” retreat with your leadership team. Name what aligns with your direction—and what distracts.

4. Governance (The Frame Holding It All Together)

If Vision is the Seed, Governance is the Soil

Too many churches operate on outdated systems—designed for a world that no longer exists.

• How are decisions made—and who makes them?
• How is information shared? Is it clear or cloaked in confusion?
• Are your accountability systems empowering or exhausting?

Action Step: Audit one governance structure (e.g., decision-making or communication). Is it facilitating your mission—or frustrating it?

5. People (Your Crew and Community)

The Right People, in the Right Seats, on the Right Boat

This isn’t just about paid staff—it’s about your whole ecosystem of gifted people.

• Do your leaders know their strengths and their roles?
• Are conflicts addressed or avoided?
• Who needs to be invited onboard—or lovingly released?

Action Step: Use a simple Strengths/Spiritual Gifts inventory. Then ask: are we deploying people or just recruiting them?

6. Stewardship (Your Propelling Force)

What Fuels the Movement of God Among You?

Even the best boats don’t move without wind—or fuel.

• What passions are rising in your people right now?
• Are your finances aligned with your purpose?
• What drains your energy? What replenishes it?

Action Step: Create an “Energy Map” of your church. What ministries spark joy? Which feel obligatory? Let the Spirit speak through your data.

7. Witness (Your Flag in the Wind)

Letting the World Know Who You Are

Your community can’t connect with you if they can’t see or hear you.

• How does your church express itself in the neighborhood?
• Is your digital presence aligned with your real-life presence?
• Do your communications reflect your identity?

Action Step: Do a “mystery visitor” audit of your website and worship. Ask: would someone feel welcomed, known, and inspired?

8. Partners (Your Fellow Boats on the Journey)

You’re Not Sailing Alone—And You Shouldn’t Be

Partnerships multiply your mission.

• Who are your sibling churches or local organizations?
• How might collaboration help you do more with less?
• What networks could support your vision?

Action Step: Identify one potential partner (faith-based or secular). Reach out. Ask: “How can we bless each other’s work?”

So, What Now?

If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed reading all eight elements, that’s okay.

Holistic doesn’t mean doing everything at once. It means zooming out, seeing the whole picture, and choosing what to focus on next with wisdom and care.

This isn’t a checklist. It’s a compass.

Why This Process Matters—Now More Than Ever

Churches are navigating turbulent waters: post-pandemic fatigue, political polarization, shrinking attendance, and cultural irrelevance. But crises are also catalysts. They shake us loose from survival mode and invite us to reimagine.

What if your next planning retreat was less about metrics—and more about mission?

What if your next staffing discussion wasn’t about cutting costs—but calling forth gifts?

What if your next congregational conversation was infused not with dread—but with dreams?

Want to Go Deeper?

If any of this resonates, let’s talk.

As a coach and consultant who has journeyed with pastors, congregations, and faith-based organizations, I’d love to help you apply this framework to your context—faithfully, creatively, and holistically.

Together, we can co-create a strategic planning process that actually works—because it aligns with how the Spirit works in real people, real time, and real mission.

Schedule a free 30-minute Discovery Call.

With hope and solidarity,

Michael K. Cheuk
Coach | Consultant | Companion
www.michaelkcheuk.com

“Your church isn’t stuck. It’s just between winds. Let’s adjust the sails—together.”

Click on this link or the picture below to view a recording of the panel discussion.

On January 26, 2021, I had the privilege of being invited to a Monticello Live Stream panel discussion about “Legacies of Religious Freedom” moderated by John Ragota, a historian at the Robert H. Smith International Center for Jefferson Studies at Monticello, and a law and history lecturer at the University of Virginia. I was joined by Holly Hollman, Associate Executive Director of the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty. We discussed the ideal of religious freedom and how it intersects with social movements and legal doctrine today.

The concern was real. After what happened during the “summer of hate” in 2017, and with reports of possible voter intimidation on election day, the idea was simple: show up at voting precincts as a calming, pastoral presence. No campaigning. No protests. Just clergy and faith leaders being visibly present to promote peace, hospitality, and moral courage.

But even as we shared a common goal, we also had to get clear on what role we were actually playing in this effort. Were we just offering information? Were we partnering with election officials? Were we empowering voters to lead?

As I reflect on that experience, it would have been helpful if I had known about the Spectrum of Public Participation—developed by the International Association for Public Participation (IAP2). It outlines five ways groups like ours can engage the public: Inform, Consult, Involve, Collaborate, and Empower.

Using our interfaith voter presence as an example, here’s what each role would look like.

1. Inform – “Here’s what we’re doing, and why.”

At its most basic level, our group’s job might be just to inform the public and the voting community.

For instance, we might create flyers or handouts that explains:

• Who we are
  
• Why we’re showing up at the polls
  
• What we will and won’t do (e.g., we’re not part of law enforcement, we’re not monitoring voters—we’re simply there as a peaceful presence)

This level is about transparency. We’re not asking for feedback—we’re just making sure people understand what’s happening.

2. Consult – “We’d love to hear your input.”

Maybe your group wants to do more than just show up—you want to listen to community members about what they need.

This could look like hosting a community forum ahead of the election to hear from voters:

• What have their past voting experiences been like?
  
• Where do they feel most vulnerable or anxious?
  
• What could clergy presence look like that feels helpful—not performative?

You’re not making promises to change everything, but you’re asking: What do you need from us? That’s consultation.

3. Involve – “We want you at the table with us.”

Let’s say you take it a step further and involve community members—especially voters from marginalized neighborhoods—in planning the pastoral presence.

You invite them to help draft your code of conduct for precinct volunteers. Maybe they review your materials or role-play scenarios to prepare clergy for what they might encounter.

At this level, you’re not just listening—you’re shaping the process together.

In order to increase involvement, lower or remove barriers for full participation, by offering transportation, childcare, stipends, etc. to community members. 

4. Collaborate – “We’re building this with you.”

Collaboration is where co-ownership kicks in. When collaborating, be ready to share power. While your group may still play a central role, it’s more about being one of many trusted partners.

Maybe you work directly with local election officials, community organizers, and even voter protection lawyers to design the entire precinct support effort.

• You share decision-making.
  
• You build training materials together.
  
• You check in regularly and revise based on what’s working.

Everyone brings something vital to the table—and the plan wouldn’t function without everyone’s voice.

5. Empower – “You decide what happens next.”

Empowerment is the deepest level of public participation. It’s where you hand over real decision-making power. Offer support, resources, and amplification—but let others be the center and lead.

In our voter support scenario, this might mean the community members themselves—particularly those who’ve experienced voter suppression—lead the entire effort. The clergy and faith leaders serve as supporters, not directors.

They set the goals. They decide who shows up and how. The power rests with those most affected.

So… Which Role Are You Playing?

Here’s the thing: none of these roles is inherently better than the others. They’re just different—and they each have their place depending on the context, timing, and goals of your effort.

What doesn’t work is pretending to empower people when you’re really just informing them. Or calling something collaboration when no one else is helping make decisions.

The key is to be honest about the role you’re playing—with yourself, your partners, and your community.

The Role We Played…

Reflecting back on the election season last November, community members served mostly in a consulting role, telling the Clergy Collective that they wanted a pastoral presence at voting precincts. Since some members of the Collective were also members of marginalized communities feeling vulnerable, we involved them in planning our pastoral presence. We collaborated with Election Defenders, which provided training on de-escalation, communication, the OODA Loop, and more. We also informed our faith communities and the voting public of our peaceful presence on election day. 

Bottom Line for Organizers

If you’re a community organizer gearing up for civic engagement, the Spectrum of Participation can be helpful to get your bearings.

Start your planning meetings by asking:

• “Are we just here to share information, or are we open to input?”
  
• “Do we want community members helping design this?”
  
• “Who really gets to make the final decisions?”

When you get clear on your role, you build trust. And trust is the bedrock of real, lasting change.

Credit: This framework is adapted from the Spectrum of Public Participation, developed by the International Association for Public Participation (IAP2). It’s a powerful tool—worth bookmarking and revisiting.

It is now more important than ever to have conversations about racial justice. Having spent the last five years in conversation and in community as a member of the Charlottesville Clergy Collective, here are seven things that pastors, friends, and coaches have taught me about having a coach approach to conversations with someone in the African American community about race.

Before talking about race, do your own homework first.

Do not expect your Black friends to teach you things that you can learn yourself. You can Google resources online to identify articles, books, podcasts, videos, shows, etc., that explain the concepts of race, outline the history of racial injustice, and reveal the experience of racism suffered by African Americans. Take responsibility for one’s own learning before asking someone else to teach you. If you do ask someone in the Black community to teach you about race, find a tangible, mutually agreeable way to express your appreciation!

It is tiring and retraumatizing to share one’s “black experience” repeatedly.

Imagine suffering through a traumatic experience — an accident, a divorce, a firing, a miscarriage — and then having friends, co-workers, and strangers asking you again and again to share that experience so that they can understand “what that’s like.” That’s how many African American people often feel when asked to share their experiences of racial discrimination, injustice, and prejudice. Such requests for “sharing” benefit the questioner while not taking into account the emotional toll on the sharer. That’s why it is so important to do one’s homework prior to having a conversation.

Before talking about race, prepare to be uncomfortable.

If a person of color is willing to be uncomfortable and recount their traumatic experiences of racism, we also need to be willing to be uncomfortable. One of the major barriers in “racial dialogues” is the tendency for many white people to expect Black Americans to speak their traumatic truth in a way that might upset their white conversation partner. When African Americans share their experience, they are often met with responses like: “Why are you such an angry back woman?” “I didn’t ask to feel guilty.” “Why can’t you all just get over the past?” Sometimes, white people just get up and walk out in the middle of these conversations.

These kinds of responses are manifestations of what Robin DiAngelo describes as “white fragility,” an inability of many white people to soothe their own emotional discomfort while expecting people of color to “twist themselves into knots trying to navigate us [white people] as painlessly as possible.” This white fragility adds to the trauma that Black people face when having conversations about race.

Coaches trained in active listening and embodying an empathetic stance will do well to lean heavily into these skills while engaging with others in these conversations.

Prepare to be curious . . . about ourselves

Curiosity is also an important mindset for coaches, and in conversations about race, we can direct our curiosity less on our Black conversational partners, and more on ourselves.

When we experience discomfort, we can ask ourselves what’s behind our discomfort.

Possible questions include:

What’s behind my resistance to evidence that I have societal privileges that people of color do not have?

What are my racial biases and blind spots?

Why do I accept that I’m a sinner, but reject that possibility that I’ve committed the sin of racism?

Which spiritual identity am I more committed to: “I’m a disciple still in need of repentance and grace” or “I’m basically a good, moral person”?

It’s both individual AND systemic.

The best coaches I’ve had were not simply interested in improving my relationship with my staff and congregants. They challenged me to think about the culture, the policies, and the metrics that encouraged and rewarded certain behaviors, functions, and outcomes in my church.

Similarly, a conversation about race cannot just focus on individual relationships and how we can be “less hateful” to one another. A conversation is also needed about how our societal institutions and power structures contribute to behaviors, functions, and outcomes among the races.

Historically speaking, “race relations” have been relatively “better” (think antebellum South) when those in power retained their power while those oppressed or enslaved remained in their societal place and didn’t “buck the system.” “Race relations” often become “worse” when Black communities begin to publicly speak and work for a more equitable society.

Therefore, “having Black friends” is not an excuse to avoid confronting one’s own complicity in systemic racism. Indeed, what does true friendship look like in response to a Black friend’s experience of unjust hiring and housing policies, of inequitable law enforcement practices, and in receiving inferior education, wages, and health outcomes?

This vein of conversation will touch on politics. But let’s remember that Jesus’ language of the “Kingdom of God” is inherently political by challenging the secular and religious power systems of his day. Recent books by scholars such as Jemar Tisby and Robert P. Jones have reminded us that most traditions of American Christianity were not only complicit in, but actively contributed to the systemic oppression of African Americans. This historical fact challenges us to ask ourselves: “Which politics do I have a greater allegiance to: the politics of Jesus, or the partisan politics of my political party and/or my Christian tradition?”

Fewer “drive-by conversations” and more “live-in community.”

Most coaches believe that clients experience greater transformation when engaged in a longer-termed coaching relationship. The same is true when it comes to talking about race. “One off” conversations have less transformational potential than conversations that take place organically arising out of a sustained, mutually trusting relationship.

Many times, African Americans are unwilling to engage in conversations with us because they don’t really know us. Conversely, we have not shown that we have the ability to hear them without getting defensive, nor have we earned their trust. Sometimes, the best strategy to learn about the “Black experience” is to join (by their invitation) their community (without taking over) and experience their joys and struggles, hopes and obstacles, celebrations and defeats.

It’s about goal-oriented tangible action.

Just as the best coaching conversations involve a call to action, so too should conversations about race. Unfortunately, in too many of these conversations, whites basically tell African Americans: “Teach me about racism, but don’t hold me accountable to how it has damaged the African American community.” Even less helpful, whites are often tempted to ask African Americans to offer them understanding, absolution, or even reconciliation as their call to action after one conversation.

Robert P. Jones, author of White Too Long, offered sage advice when he said in an interview with me (around 34:00 minute mark): “If whites forget about reconciliation, and just work for justice and repair, our African American brothers and sisters are going to tell us when we are reconciled. . . . But it is not something that we should be asking for, and certainly not very quickly.”

Before having conversations about race, ask yourself: “What tangible actions am I willing to commit and be accountable for racial justice?”

Conclusion

Coaching at its best is always fully client-centered and not coach-centered. That skill is also a super-power when it comes to fighting systemic racism.

I believe one of the main characteristics of racism is the insistence of centering the experiences, perspectives, beliefs, privileges, and power of (male) white people over people of color in our society. To the extent that we non-Black coaches can apply this coaching competency of decentering ourselves and centering on African Americans, I believe we will have much more productive conversations about racial justice.

Indeed, if we find ways to decenter ourselves and center African Americans in our work in racial and social justice, I believe we can make a great contribution to the well-being and flourishing of all in our society.

So here are my seven things to know before talking about race with African Americans. How might you apply these lessons before your next conversation about race?

There are many things that I still do not know about conversations around racial justice.

What would you add to this list?

If this article has been useful to you, please consider signing up for my periodic e-newsletter.

The Dread of Staff Evaluations

In my experience as a former pastor and in my consulting with churches and denominations, the annual “staff evaluation” or “performance review” is often a practice that most staff persons — and lay leaders — dread.

At its best, the annual evaluation provides an opportunity for pastoral leaders to be acknowledged and encouraged for their contributions in ministry while mutually discovering opportunities for growth.

But at its worst, the evaluation becomes a toxic minefield where pastoral leaders are subjected to criticism and attack from anonymous evaluators. The performance of various functions is often reduced to a number. Critical feedback is so far removed from the actual incident that very little learning and growth can take place. The appraisal often ignores systemic factors that negatively affect the performance of individual staff. The power difference between the evaluator over the appraisee raises anxiety and fears, while limiting mutual trust, honesty, and insight.

In their book, Accountability: Freedom and Responsibility without Control, Lebow and Spitzer write: “Too often, appraisal destroys the human spirit. . . . They don’t work because most performance appraisal systems are a form of judgment and control.”

I have found that a coach approach evaluation or appraisal process mitigates many of the shortcomings of a “judgment and control based” approach, especially in light of the disruptions brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Three Elements of a Coach Approach to Staff Evaluations

Below are three elements of a coach approach to staff evaluations that can strengthen an organization while potentially be enlivening and energizing for the evaluator and the appraisee!

1. A Coaching Mindset

According to the International Coaching Federation, a coaching mindset is open, curious, flexible and client-centered.

In a staff evaluation, the “clients” are the staff members (including the leader!). A coaching mindset approaches the evaluation from a place of acceptance, connection, and care, and not from a place of judgment, critique, and punishment. It is grounded in the belief that each staff person is capable in their job, is responsible for their own actions, and wants to contribute to the flourishing of the organization.

Questions for a leader considering a coach approach to staff evaluation:

• How open, curious, and flexible is my mindset toward those I’m appraising?
• How attached am I to my beliefs regarding how my staff ought to be doing their jobs?
• How willing am I to discuss my own contribution to a staff person’s “low performance?”
• How willing are all participants willing to check their power and privilege at the door?
• What’s the level of mutual trust among the staff and the organization?
• What’s the level of anxiety in the staff, in the organization, and in me?

2. Clear Agreements

Any helpful evaluation requires clear job descriptions and policies that provide a mutually accepted criterion for evaluation. However, it is also important that any unspoken expectations be made explicit. Bringing those expectations into the light of day may stimulate thinking regarding whether they are reasonable, healthy, and productive in meeting the needs of the organization and its staff.

In my experience, one source of negative evaluations is often the result of relationship conflicts arising from unmet unspoken expectations.

Marie Miyashiro writes: “[M]ost interpersonal conflict in the workplace are systems issues and not people issues. If we mediate between people and ignore the system within which both work, we are putting time and resources into fixing a symptom and not the cause. . . . [T]eam members who aren’t performing the way we would like can be gifts because they often point to flaws in our workplace systems” (The Empathy Factor, pp. 156-7).

Examples of systemic flaws might include inadequate training, a lack of staff resources, unclear communication, and a culture that punishes transparency and honesty.

Before the evaluation session, it is important to establish trust and safety for all involved. Staff members can co-create an agreement of the expectations and values governing the session so that each person can show up fully and authentically without fear of reprisal.

Questions to consider:

• How clear are we regarding the purpose, mission, and values of our organization?
• How clear is each staff member regarding their job description and expectations?
• When a staff person is “under-performing,” to what extent is that a reflection of a flaw or lack of clarity in our workplace system?
• How clear and strong is our agreement regarding trust and safety during our evaluation session?

3. Less an “evaluation” and more a “joint inquiry”

A coach approach evaluation functions less as an evaluation and more as a joint inquiry into the functioning of the staff and the organization. Similar to many coaching conversations, this evaluation will recognize and celebrate what went well while exploring with curiosity and truthful inquiry around what didn’t go so well. This process may require some training in active listening for staff members.

Instead of relying on “objective” numbers and rankings, this approach acknowledges that all evaluations are subjective, based on one’s own perceptions and interpretations. Therefore, all participants — including the appraiser, if that person is also a staff member — are encouraged to “show up fully” by offering up their inner world — their feelings, needs, hopes, anxieties, and fears — to help others understand the intent of their behaviors and the impact of others’ behaviors on them.

If the leader is conducting the evaluation, it requires her to “take a dumb pill” and not assume expertise in the “proper” functioning of the staff person being appraised. Indeed, the evaluation cannot be solely limited to an accounting of strengths and weaknesses based on predefined performance criteria. Instead, the evaluation invites a joint exploration into a staff person’s current roles at work in the broader light of their life’s journey, hopes, and calling. Staff members are not merely human “doings”; they are human beings needing to be fully seen for who they are, and not solely for what they do for the organization.

A coach approach to staff evaluations works only to the extent there is equally shared power by all participants during the evaluation process. Individual feedback and evaluations are not one-way, given by a “boss” to an “underling.” All participants show up first as human beings rather than as functionaries in a hierarchical organizational chart. All participants are being appraised in a “360-degree” inquiry, and no one can “pull rank.” What is shared within the evaluation cannot be used against a staff person afterward. 

As such, this coach approach may not be appropriate in an organization whose culture mainly operates from a “top-down command structure,” where fear and distrust run rampant, and relationships are strained among staff members.

What a Coach Approach to Staff Evaluation Might Look Like

Personal reflection and feedback

For example, one way to conduct this inquiry (in a staff of up to 8 persons) is for the staff to sit in a circle (or in a Zoom room) and for each staff person to be appraised to answer these questions. (You may want to co-create this process and questions with your staff so that there is a mutual agreement.)

• What were my greatest contributions this past year?
• What made them so important to me?
• What held me back (especially in light of the COVID-19 pandemic)?
• What, if anything, would I do differently, knowing what I know now?

In response, the other staff persons are invited to offer their thoughts to the following questions. (Someone can record these comments on a flip chart under the headings: Value, Insight, and Potential.)

• What is the one thing I most value about working with you? Why?
• What insight have I gained by listening to what you’ve just said?
• What is one area where I sense great potential in you? 

The staff person being appraised is then invited to reflect and respond to this feedback, and identify what they will take away from this conversation.

Repeat this process until all staff members have shared their thoughts, received feedback from others, and identified their take-aways.

Empower future growth and mutual accountability

Each staff person is then invited to look toward the future by sharing answers to these questions. (Someone can record them for future reference.)

• What am I most excited about accomplishing this coming year?
• What could help me contribute more fully?
• What concerns me most?
• What do I need to stay on track? How can you help?
• What professional development will help me grow in my current role and for my future?

From this information, the staff can co-create action steps and support structures to empower future growth and mutual accountability.

Prayerfully connect to your organization’s calling

Finally, the staff as a whole can prayerfully reflect on these questions (used by The Center for Courage and Renewal founded by Parker Palmer) to connect the staff’s functioning to the organization’s calling, toward a “place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger coincide” (Frederick Buechner).

• What do we as an organization truly long to do?
• What is our organization’s offer to the world?
• What could help us step more boldly into the life that wants to be lived through us?

From this information, the staff can co-create action steps and support structures to empower the growth and flourishing of the organization into its calling and mission.

Final check-in and gratitudes

The evaluation may conclude by inviting each staff member to offer a one-word description of how they are feeling or a word of gratitude.

The Goal: Energized Staff Working as a Team to Accomplish Their Organization’s Mission

When done well in an appropriate setting, a coach approach to staff evaluations can contribute to an energized and committed staff working as a team to fulfill their organization’s mission.

In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, perhaps a silver lining in the midst of tragic disruptions is that we now have the opportunity to disrupt the unhelpful ways we’ve conducted staff evaluations. Instead, we have an opportunity to try out new ways to conduct a joint inquiry into staff functioning that is more human-focused and humane for the sake of the life-giving purpose and mission of the organizations we serve.

Please contact me if you would like a free consultation on how to design such a staff joint-inquiry for your congregation or organization.

At first, I was ambivalent.

On the one hand, I had no interest in valorizing Confederate heroes like Robert E. Lee and Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson in our parks, or the “Johnny Reb” statue that stood guard in front of the Albemarle county courthouse.

On the other hand, I couldn’t see how removing those Confederate symbols would make a tangible difference in the fight for racial justice and equity.

While I noticed them in our public square, their impact on me was minimal.

However, hard conversations within the Charlottesville Clergy Collective opened my eyes and my heart to better see and understand the destructive nature of these statues and monuments.

During those conversations, I grappled with these questions:

What is the meaning of a public statue?

According to art historian Erin L. Thompson, a statue is “a bid for immortality” and “a way of solidifying an idea and making it present to other people.” Statues in public places present a specific point of view and claim that “this version of history is the public version of history.”

What version of history is advanced by these Confederate monuments?

I learned how the majority of these statues advance the “Lost Cause of the Confederacy” narrative to perpetuate racism and advance white supremacist power structures.  

The majority of these statues were erected not right after the Civil War as memorials in cemeteries, but between 1900-1920 during the Jim Crow era, and in the 50’s and 60’s during the modern civil rights era to suppress the gains made by African Americans.

How did these Confederate monuments affect African Americans?

My black pastor friends recall how those statues were erected in public spaces where they were forbidden to enter. Those Confederate symbols were painful reminders of not just the enslavement of their ancestors in the past, but also the continuing discrimination, hatred, and bigotry they experience in the present.

That hatred and bigotry were on full display on August 11 and 12 by the white nationalists and neo-Nazis who violently protested the proposed removal of the Lee statue while shouting racist and anti-Semitic chants, and killing counter protester Heather Heyer and injuring dozens others.

As a result of that traumatic experience, it is now clear to me that these Confederate statues physically bolster the idea and legitimacy of white supremacy in American society that serves to remind blacks, Jews, Muslims, and other minorities that “You will not replace us.”

Removing these symbols and plausibility structures of white supremacy is a necessary step toward a more just and equitable society.

I disagree with those who contend that removing these Confederate monuments and statues in public spaces is “erasing history.”

I contend that the history of “our heritage” has always been present and visible for those who have eyes to see.

A more complete history

We don’t need monuments of steel and stone to remind us that:  

The heritage of slavery is present in the bodies of American Descendants of Slavery (ADOS) who carry within them generational trauma and pain. They are the living memorials to this history.

The heritage of white supremacy is still exerting its oppression on African Americans in the form of denigrating stereotypes, belittling micro-aggressions, discriminatory hiring and housing practices, inferior physical and mental health outcomes, among others.

This heritage of white domination is still alive when white people call the police on black people who are just trying to live their lives and do their jobs.

This heritage of violence against black bodies is still tragically embedded in our law enforcement, legal, and criminal justice systems.

This heritage of exclusion is still present in our segregated neighborhoods, in our schools, our governments, the governing boards of our institutions, and the C-Suites of our corporations.

I cannot erase this history.

I am not erasing history when I advocate for the removal of Confederate monuments.

I only want to dismantle ONE telling of history that only celebrates the stories of those who fought against the United States for the sake of enslaving others for their own gain.

I want to tell a more INCLUSIVE history so that the untold stories and ignored experiences of black, brown, and native peoples may also see the light of day.

I am advocating a COMMON history to highlight the fact that our present lives and our future flourishing are linked together.

I want to recover a more TRUTHFUL history that frees us from whitewashing, from selective memory, and from the enslavement of our spirits to shame, fear, and hatred.

Jesus said, “For you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

May it be so for us all.

So says one of my coaching clients in a recent call.

In this chaotic new world of the COVID-19 pandemic, we’re all scrambling to respond to radical changes in how we work, in how we connect, and in all areas of our life.

Am I Enough?

In the midst of this disruption, I hear many pastors asking this question: “Am I enough?”

“Am I enough as a spouse and as a parent?”

“Am I enough as a pastor to earn my paycheck in the midst of dwindling contributions?”

“Am I enough of a leader to my staff and our congregation?”

“Are we doing enough in offering online services and Bible studies?”

During these anxious times, it is especially challenging to keep up with ministry demands while learning new skills and overcoming new barriers.

Ministering in a pandemic is like re-learning to ride a bike with one hand tied behind your back and a bandana covering one eye.

Let’s face it, most of us are not equipped to lead in a pandemic. We never took a seminary course on “Pastoral Care in the Age of Social Distancing.” Most of us are not experts in video production, live streaming, and Zoom meetings, although many pastors are acquiring proficiency in all three!

In times like these, we are challenged to prove our worth to our congregants and our peers, but perhaps most of all, to ourselves.

Jesus Is Enough

This challenge reminds me of Jesus’ time in the wilderness immediately after his baptism. In that barren and isolating place, Jesus was tempted to prove his identity based on what he could do (by turning stone into bread), on what he could have (all the kingdoms of the world), and on what other people thought of him (by successfully throwing himself off the temple and allowing the angels to catch him in front of the crowds).  

Jesus refused all three temptations.

Instead, Jesus based his identity and worth on the baptismal affirmation from God: “You are my Son, whom I love. With you I am well pleased.”

I believe that these same baptismal words also affirm our identity and worth even in this pandemic. God continues to tell us, if we have the ears to hear:

“You are my Child, whom I love. There’s nothing you need to do, nothing you need to have in comparison to others in order to earn my affection. And I hope you’ll put more stock in what I think of you, than what you imagine others might think of you.”

If you believe that you are a beloved child of God, then … You. Are. Enough.

Signs that I Am Enough

During moments and seasons of “being enough,” I experience these things:

I am clear about what I’m called to do and what I need to stop doing.

I am less afraid to risk and to fail.

I reframe failures as learning opportunities for growth.

I am more compassionate to others, and to myself.

I gladly share credit for my successes.

I celebrate others’ achievements without becoming jealous.

I am grateful for what I do have, and less anxious about what I don’t have.

I work to combat systemic injustice so that more people can have what I have.

I am more generous, not out of obligation but from a place of abundance.

I am more connected to God, to myself, to others, and to creation.

I feel joy.

Self-Assessment Questions

Jesus’ time in the wilderness prepared him for his public ministry. What if we treat this pandemic as preparation for future ministry in a radically changed world?

During this season, here are some questions to ask yourself:

What does it look like for me to be enough in God’s eyes?

What does it feel like to be enough in my own eyes?

What is at stake if I continue to believe the voices that tell me that I’m not enough?

For what purpose am I striving and working?

What would have to change in order for me to stop comparing myself to others?

What spiritual and emotional muscles would I have to strengthen in order to remain in God’s approval, even if that means incurring the disapproval and disappointment of others?

How would my identity change or remain the same if I shifted my leadership style from being the “chief expert” to being the “chief learner” or “chief experimenter”?

During these past weeks, many pastors are already wondering how “doing church” will have to change and what church will look like when the pandemic is over.

I believe that if we also spend time answering the why and the who questions, we will be in a better position to address any of the how and what questions that will come our way.

The good news is that we don’t have to tackle these questions alone.

A big part of “being enough” is being in relationship with God and with others. We are all in this together, and we can learn and support one another as we go forward.

Contact me if you would like a thinking partner in addressing these questions on your journey.

In the coming weeks and months, may we be encouraged by the words of our Lord as recorded by the Apostle Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9a).      

May Grace abound in you and yours in the days ahead.

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